Today I arrived. At first I was inordinately overwhelmed, hopelessly scatterbrained, and incredibly lonely, but slowly I began to fade into the background, even within the first twelve hours. Fading away is a nice feeling, especially when you don't know anyone.
I discovered that many people here are German, from Germany, speak German, or are of German ancestry, so I began to feel a bit more at home. I haven't had an opportunity to speak my second language so much since moving back to the States!
Immediately after arriving, I was assigned to the housekeeping department with Jaquie, my supervisor, and a German girl named Julia (say it: yoo-lee-ya) Doetsch, who is nearly twenty to my almost seventeen. Together we folded rags, scrubbed toilets, mopped floors, dusted furniture, and watered flowers. Also with us was a rather intimidating character named Valerie (from California) who talked incessantly, did random spastic things, and declared her love for orange. I find her to be an outlandish figure, and shied away from her presence.
I've hung around the German girls all day, and now people think I'm from Germany. I've even begun speaking with a light German accent. Also, I found a rhinoceros beetle in the volleyball sand pit and named it Guenther, after the camp director.
Okay, I'm exhausted. Goodnight!
I've hung around the German girls all day, and now people think I'm from Germany. I've even begun speaking with a light German accent. Also, I found a rhinoceros beetle in the volleyball sand pit and named it Guenther, after the camp director.
Okay, I'm exhausted. Goodnight!
Day 2 [7]--
Today Julia (called Juli) and her cousin Dania taught me how to play Biberbande--translated 'Beaver Bunch'--which is a German children's card game that is quite entertaining. It is similar to the fairly unknown American card game Rat-A-Tat-Cat.
Jacquie, Juli, and I were at the arks (the campers' sleeping quarters) for the greater part of the day scrubbing the shower curtains with bleach. I saw gigantic daddy-long-legs and a dead scorpion--but at least it was dead. I'm not quite sure how I would react to a live one.
In the evening, there was home fellowship with five others on staff. We played Hand and Foot, a complex card game that was so much fun! :) I would say it was a good day.
Day 3 [7]--
A fulfilling workday. I am trying to hear God's voice, far away from the distractions of home and daily life, but sometimes I can't decide if God is speaking to me, or if I'm hearing my own thoughts generated in my head! It is so frustrating this whole what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life? thing! Why God doesn't tattoo us with a life purpose on our foreheads when we are born is beyond me. Wouldn't that be so much simpler?
Sometimes I feel alone here, even though everyone is generally friendly, because there is no one here my age except this one other boy, but our paths don't cross.
This evening we played Gold Rush, which had me running so fast I could scarcely breathe at times. However, it was crazy fun. It also reminded me that I'm kind of-sort of-maybe-just-a little out of shape. I have a long way to go to get ready for cross country in August. However, His Hill is a relaxing break from hardcore distance running which is in order as soon as I depart. On a lighter note, several people mentioned that I'm a fast runner, which is always nice to hear.
While cleaning the meadow bathrooms, Juli and I found a cluster of daddy-long-legs (at least a hundred.) They were jumbled up in one big vibrating mass that looked like a cluster of pulsating hair. It was horrifying.
Juli is so sweet, as are Dania and Mia and Anke and Gaby, my German buddies. I said to Dania, "I will watch your water bottle like a hawk!" She did not know the expression, or what a hawk was. When I tried to explain it was a bird of prey, I ended up doing rather ridiculous facial expressions and arm motions and animal noises and appeared quite silly. The language barrier can be awkward at times! ;)
I told Juli, "Ich hasse Spinnen mit jeder Zelle in meinem Korper," which translates to, "I hate spiders with every cell in my body." She said they are never so dramatic in German, it is simply: Ich hasse Spinnen, or I.hate.spiders. Short and to the point. We Americans are so silly! :P
This evening we played Gold Rush, which had me running so fast I could scarcely breathe at times. However, it was crazy fun. It also reminded me that I'm kind of-sort of-maybe-just-a little out of shape. I have a long way to go to get ready for cross country in August. However, His Hill is a relaxing break from hardcore distance running which is in order as soon as I depart. On a lighter note, several people mentioned that I'm a fast runner, which is always nice to hear.
While cleaning the meadow bathrooms, Juli and I found a cluster of daddy-long-legs (at least a hundred.) They were jumbled up in one big vibrating mass that looked like a cluster of pulsating hair. It was horrifying.
Juli is so sweet, as are Dania and Mia and Anke and Gaby, my German buddies. I said to Dania, "I will watch your water bottle like a hawk!" She did not know the expression, or what a hawk was. When I tried to explain it was a bird of prey, I ended up doing rather ridiculous facial expressions and arm motions and animal noises and appeared quite silly. The language barrier can be awkward at times! ;)
I told Juli, "Ich hasse Spinnen mit jeder Zelle in meinem Korper," which translates to, "I hate spiders with every cell in my body." She said they are never so dramatic in German, it is simply: Ich hasse Spinnen, or I.hate.spiders. Short and to the point. We Americans are so silly! :P
Day 4 [6]--
Today was supposedly "Thursday Workday", but it felt fairly normal to me, because being in the housekeeping department, every day is a workday. Besides cleaning, I'm not sure how I felt about today. I think both happy (frohlich) and sad (traurig). So, you might say it was a bittersweet day.
I learned why Juli has been so emotional and Dania so aloof--they had a cousin their age who died four days before they flew into the States. Imagine going to another country, having to adjust to a new climate, language, and culture and leaving a grieving family with such a fresh wound! Dania cried buckets of tears when she, Juli, Niki (a roommate of mine), and I broke off into a little prayer group and the story came out, while Juli was more reserved. I could only stare off into the distance and wonder what to say, if anything at all.
Other peoples' sorrow instantly becomes my heartache, so I skipped swimming and sat in my bed and just slammed my face into the pillow and pondered life. God, why?
The happy half of the day included Juli teaching me 'Jesus Loves Me' in German while we cleaned the dorms.
The happy half of the day included Juli teaching me 'Jesus Loves Me' in German while we cleaned the dorms.
"Jesus liebt mich ganz gewiss
Denn die Bibel sagt mir dies.
Alle kinder gross und klein--
Denn die Bibel sagt mir dies.
Alle kinder gross und klein--
Ladt er herzlich zu sich ein."
Day 5 [9.5]--
Wow. Jeepers. What a day!
It was camp dry run, so my morning consisted of getting on and off the bus as we "practiced camp". I was not very much involved, but later I got to clean the ark bathrooms. There Juli and I encountered a terrifying and humongous brown spider which we proceeded to kill with hornet spray and scrubbing bubbles (sink cleaner.)
Bwahahaha! Fine. Go ahead and laugh! I don't care!
But it did look rather silly when Jacquie comes in and we are screaming and jumping around spraying chemicals at something ten thousand times smaller then us. Hey! It looked vicious! I think in its evil heart it wanted to attack us.
Juli, Gaby, Mia, Zarifa (from Canada, and Alex (from here in Texas), taught Mia and I how to play Dutch Blitz. It was fast-paced and had my heart beating wildly the entire time. Gaby was a brutal competitor, and her German hands frenetically slap-slap-slapped the cards down more rapidly than I could think!
Later, we stood out on the dorm deck and watched the sunset as Gaby took random, crazy, blah pictures of us being normal. I think I might like this girl! :) She's twenty-five, of all ages! Sometimes I wonder how I have adapted to being with "adults" so quickly. There are moments I feel gauche and out of place, and other times I think I might pass for nineteen. We shall see.
For dinner, there was catered Rudy's BBQ! Huzzah! The meals here are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but barbecue is a comfort food, being a Texan and all! :) Dania asked me what creamed corn was, and me--being the ever helpful translator--said, "Creamed corn--it's like...um...corn with...er...cream!"
Yes, I know. That was a sad response. Don't judge!
In the dark, we watched How to Train your Dragon by the pool. I received my first money (thirty dollars) which I'll probably spend this weekend on laundry soap, of all things. I never thought I would see the day when I would purchase 'grown-up things'. Did I think laundry soap would always just be there forever, never costing me a dime? Oh, life.
This day could have totally ranked as a 10, rather than a 9.5, but I accidentally opened up one of the shower curtains that serve as toilet stall doors a crack when someone was in it. I was mortified as soon as I realized what I was doing and slammed it shut again! I didn't see who was inside, but they must have recognized me because whoever-it-was used a patronizing tone of voice to say, "When the stall door is closed, don't open it..."
Well, I know that!! But I'm on housekeeping!! I open stall doors and curtains ALL DAY! I was just going through the motions and being absentminded. I was pretty embarrassed and wanted to hide away forever, but the shame faded slowly, like a sunset sinking over the slumbering hills. O, how poetic am I!
Later, we stood out on the dorm deck and watched the sunset as Gaby took random, crazy, blah pictures of us being normal. I think I might like this girl! :) She's twenty-five, of all ages! Sometimes I wonder how I have adapted to being with "adults" so quickly. There are moments I feel gauche and out of place, and other times I think I might pass for nineteen. We shall see.
For dinner, there was catered Rudy's BBQ! Huzzah! The meals here are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but barbecue is a comfort food, being a Texan and all! :) Dania asked me what creamed corn was, and me--being the ever helpful translator--said, "Creamed corn--it's like...um...corn with...er...cream!"
Yes, I know. That was a sad response. Don't judge!
In the dark, we watched How to Train your Dragon by the pool. I received my first money (thirty dollars) which I'll probably spend this weekend on laundry soap, of all things. I never thought I would see the day when I would purchase 'grown-up things'. Did I think laundry soap would always just be there forever, never costing me a dime? Oh, life.
This day could have totally ranked as a 10, rather than a 9.5, but I accidentally opened up one of the shower curtains that serve as toilet stall doors a crack when someone was in it. I was mortified as soon as I realized what I was doing and slammed it shut again! I didn't see who was inside, but they must have recognized me because whoever-it-was used a patronizing tone of voice to say, "When the stall door is closed, don't open it..."
Well, I know that!! But I'm on housekeeping!! I open stall doors and curtains ALL DAY! I was just going through the motions and being absentminded. I was pretty embarrassed and wanted to hide away forever, but the shame faded slowly, like a sunset sinking over the slumbering hills. O, how poetic am I!
Day 6 [8]--
It is Saturday, which is my day off. I went to breakfast early (yoyo meals, don't you know) with Juli and Dania and sipped my vanilla chai tea slowly whilst forking cold baked oatmeal into my mouth and listening to everyone at my table--Max, Wolfgang, Mia, Juli, Dania, and Annalie--all blabbering in German. I could discern parts of the conversation--something about head coverings Muslim women have to wear. My eyelids heavy with fatigue, I trotted back to the dorm and proceeded to finish reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (for, like, the millionth time, but who cares?) before falling into a deep, dark sleep.
It was then I had a terrifyingly real nightmare, one so real I thought I was truly being suffocated by a non-existential nothingness.
I was in a waft of white--like the clear, sanitary whiteness of a sterile hospital room. I was sleeping in a bed from which I was looking up at everything else from an odd angle, as if my body were twisted backwards behind my neck. I wasn't in pain, rather, I seemed to be in perfect tranquility, as if I were floating on a cloud.
I was talking to a group of people while looking up at them, awake but asleep (odd?) when suddenly I felt this tugging coming from behind me, beneath me--pulling my eyelids shut and my breath away. I couldn't speak anymore, and was quickly fading into a dark hole of nothingness.
Then, still in my dream, Juli walks into my shroud of white and begins talking, "Oh, Andi," she is saying, "We should do this or that..." and I cry out,
"Juli! Help me! The blackness..." But she cannot hear me because I cannot speak. My mouth is sealed shut, my eyes are fastened tight, the darkness closes in and I cannot scream or even move. My muscles are tensed, and suddenly the pain of my having my body rotated the wrong direction is starting to cause some sort of sensation--a numb tingling, if you will.
I do not know what the Darkness is, but it terrifies me so much--the thought of leaving my bubble of salubrious white, the smooth transparent slumbering, to fall into this cistern of deathlike sleeping is creating such a panic that I somehow think this dream, this nightmare, is real.
Juli's voice suddenly begins to blur, and then fades into a drone--long and unending, like a distant horn signlaing my impending doom. And then, right as the Darkness swallows me whole, eats me alive, I throw off the blanket and snap upright in bed, gasping for air.
For light. For life.
It was so vivid. So real. There was death in that pit of dark sleep. It was an endless void. A vacuum of oblivion. A fireless Hell.
I couldn't sleep after that, nor did I have any desire to do so.
I reread The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (so I like Narnia! Give me a break!) and then went swimming with Jacquie, Dania, and Juli. I dove into the water, but when it closed over my head I felt suffocated again, as if I were back in the dream. Shivering, I climbed out of the pool and basked in the sunlight for the rest of the afternoon. Later, Dania, Juli, and I visited Jacquie's home where we played Uno and Biberbande and laughed about American phrases like "I'm toast" and "Playing hooky."
Frankly, I'm wiped out. Auf Wiedersehen for now.
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